Excel Saga: Maiden Experiment
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: The ONLY Excel Saga/Maiden Universe story ever! In the 14th installment of the Maiden Universe series, Lord Il Palazzo presents a Maiden for Hire to Excel, in her house, for further conquest of the world. Of course, Excel MAY have problems, not just with her new Maiden for Hire, but something from her past that has scarred her, for life. Rated T for sexual content and language.
1. Chapter 1

_**Maiden Experiment**_

* * *

_**Maiden Universe Story #14**_

* * *

_**Chapter 1**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer: **__I am the master of the Maiden Universe; and I do not own Excel Saga_

_**Acknowledged, Miz-K**_

* * *

At the Maidens for Hire Compound in Kyoto, a woman in violet hair and a blue business suit got a delivery from an unknown person. We know who it is. She got the delivery order on the internet, as she alerted the people in the repair bay.

"We got a custom order for a Maiden for Hire," she said, "Kenji, Heiji, will you do the honors?"

"Certainly, Ms. West," they said, as she gave them the instructions.

* * *

_The girl was Hanako West, the daughter of Takana West, Koyomi Mizuhara's assistant. She was received the job, when __**Maidens for Hire**__ started the Kyoto Branch. Her partners, Kenji Kazuya, a repairman with black hair, and Heiji Shaitori, a supervisor with auburn spiky hair and a goatee, were hired just this week. They were both wearing their black and gold jumpsuits. They were kind of the spitting images of Watanabe and Iwata. But they're not._

* * *

Kenji said, "We got a custom order, all set."

Heiji smiled and said, "Mmm… blue hair, pale skin, and a hot body. I think we know who this one will be."

Kenji asked, "Hey, I was wondering… Since this says a gift from, uh, Il Palazzo?"

Heiji griped, "Who the hell is Palazzo?"

* * *

Meanwhile, at ACROSS, which was three weeks later…

"HAIL, IL PALAZZO!" Excel cheered.

"…Zzo." Hyatt said in a quiet voice.

Lord Il Palazzo addressed to his agents, "Excel, Hyatt, as you know, we are one step closer to achieving conquest on the planet; which is why I am giving you a special gift to both of you."

He addressed to Excel, a girl with long dirty blonde (or orange) hair and a cyan jacket with shoulder pads and skirt, "Agent Excel, perhaps maybe we need to study on automation, which had been the backbone to this city and its corrupt state. So, Agent Excel, you shall receive one of Japan's newest items in the world of domestic distributes."

Excel was cheering like crazy, "AH! You're so right! Your Excel is so amazed by the product of machinery! Excel will accept your gift of value and loyal respect! Excel blindly gives out your love, Lord Il Palazzo!"

She then thought, "UH… Lord Il Palazzo, what did you give Excel?"

"Simple," he said, "I am giving you a Maiden for Hire. I decided to get you one, just so we can test it out onto your home. Don't worry, I already paid the 2,500 Yen it pays (Don't even ask how I got the money)."

Excel was confused, "Uh, what's a Maiden for Hire?"

Il Palazzo said, "Why, it's a robot maid service. I get to pay for a rental Maiden that cooks and cleans and everything it desires. You, Agent Excel, will study the Maiden and give out more Intel on this wondrous product, in the hopes of learning more in our upcoming conquest."

Excel started to froze in fear, realizing that it might repeat itself. She still remembered Ropponmatsu 2, the android that she got from a delivery and died (Actually, she blew up).

"AHH! PLEASE! NO MORE ROBOTS!" She shrieked, "Excel has a bad day with robots before, but nothing like this! I cannot do it! I can't! I can't! I can't! Okay, Excel shall accept your Maiden for Hire!"

Il Palazzo was about to pull the rope, when Excel added, "Wait! That can't be right! Excel and Hatchan have no money and food! Excel can't pay 2,000 Yen a month! And Excel is already behind on the rent in our home."

"NO worries," he smiled, "_I'll _pay for your Maiden services, every month, in the event that the Maiden has more interesting traits. As for food, this is Agent Hyatt's reward. She will be staying here in ACROSS, while she delivers you a CARE package of food that will last you a month, for every two weeks. Try not to eat it all, until then. The rent in your home… Not my problem."

Hyatt then said, "Seems that Senior Excel is still traumatized over the moment from before."

"I see…"

He addressed to Excel, "Agent Excel, perhaps you need to tone down and stay at home. We will be in need your services, whenever a mission is on the way. If what you experienced in the past was disturbing, then I have no problem with it. But under _strict _orders, you must observe and examine the Maiden for Hire we have sent you. Is that clear?"

"Excel is deeply grateful! A Maiden for me, a month's supply of food, and a moment of peace; not to mention, SAVINGS GALORE! Excel is happy for your Lord Il Palazzo! But on one condition…"

"And _that _is?"

"Excel refuses to be loved by a robot! I just cannot go through this again! Excel just can't!"

She bowed on her knees and sobbed, "I beg of you! No _Pleasure Mode_, No Shoujo-Ai, and NO LOVE MAKING! NO MORE PETALS FALLING! Excel cannot handle the levels of romance with mechanical humans!"

Hyatt waved to Il Palazzo, "You better do it…"

He held the rope and said, "Perhaps you needed to calm down. I'll help you."

He pulled the rope and Excel plummeted into a trapdoor.

"THANKS! I NEEDED THAT!" She yelled, as she was falling.

**SPLASH!**

Hyatt then asked, "Uh, Lord Il Palazzo, what kind of Maiden did you get?"

"I had it custom-made from Kyoto," he smiled, "Agent Excel will be happy for one. She'll be getting one, any minute now. You will tell her, the minute she comes back up."

Hyatt thought, "Oh…"

"Of course, if she's so upset over that _Ropponmatsu_, or as she told me, I wonder how the Maiden's _Pleasure Mode _will affect Excel."

"Poor Senior… I hope she won't get herself killed. But is a Maiden for Hire safe?"

"It is. But we are not so sure… If we learn something from electronics, some machines tend to break."

**XXXXX**

At home, Excel was waiting for her Maiden to arrive.

"Hello, Excel here." She spoke in a fast manner, "Day one of Maiden for Hire for Excel Excel. As you see, Excel is waiting, because she's waiting for her Maiden to arrive. Current, Hatchan arrived with the food, as promised, but I cannot eat it, since most of the food is raw, and probably dirtied from Hatchan's death rattles. As Excel thinks, what will her Maiden look like?"

She then remembered the final words from _Ropponmatsu _2:

_(Excel): ROPPONMATSU! GIVE BACK MY EMERGENCY FOOD SUPPLY!_

_(Glass cracks)_

_(RP2): I can't believe those are the last words I wanted to hear! Big sister is so mean!_

_(Explosion)_

"WAHH! Excel cannot have a repeat performance!" She cried, as Menchi was scared stiff of her panicked form, "Whoever this Maid for Hire, or whatever, is, she better treat Excel right! Oh, Lord Il Palazzo, your Excel is in fear over this! PLEASE! For the love of you, Lord Il Palazzo, your Excel is very scared stiff! Please don't let your most trusted ACROSS agent fall to her pool of her own pity and terror!"

At next door, Watanabe slammed on the wall and shouted, "KEEP IT DOWN! Some of us are trying to eat… Or at least, what I got left!"

_Did she just say Maiden for Hire? _Sumiyoshi asked.

_Please note: Sumiyoshi says nothing, but we'd like to state his words in Italics._

Iwata cried, "NO WAY! The girl from next door is getting the new Maidens for Hire?"

Watanabe shouted, "Like hell she does. She must've got it as a gift!"

Iwata smirked, "What about your _girlfriend_? She lives in that house."

_She__ must have fun, too. _Sumiyoshi said.

Watanabe cringed, "You mean the Maiden could be for Miss Ayasugi?"

_It's possible._

"He's right. Quit worrying!" Iwata chuckled, "Besides, _I'd _like a Maiden for Hire, one day."

Watanabe groaned, "We're better off with those other two."

Iwata rebutted, "THEY DON'T COUNT! I don't care how hot they are, the Maidens for Hire are the sexiest thang alive!"

_Don't forget the Butlers for Hire._

"For real?"

**XXXXX**

And after waiting all night, Excel resorted to eating two apples, a banana, and a piece of meat… all raw. Just then, the doorbell rang. She jumped up and opened the door. She found a huge crate with a paper that says "_To: Excel from F City – F Prefecture; from: the Maidens for Hire Company in Kyoto_".

"Excel is curious," she said, "Kyoto has some great items."

She then thought, "We have had hurricanes, earthquakes, and even UFO attacks, but we _never _thought we'd resort to domestic technology."

Excel opened the crate and saw a Maiden, dressed in an all white maid uniform. She had the exact details of Hyatt, from her blue hair and pale skin, to her cute face and body. We figured that _that _must be the custom Maiden for Hire that Lord Il Palazzo ordered. (Figures…)

"Excel is shocked, and somewhat rather confused!" She cried, "This Maiden looks like Hatchan! You look like Hatchan, currently turned off Maiden, owned by Excel Excel!"

She then bellowed, as she saluted, "BUT! And this is a BIG BUT! Lord Il Palazzo promises Excel to study this Maiden for Hire under complete observation! Maybe we'll obtain this technology, as use of our soldiers of ACROSS! YES! The robot, or gynoid, rebellion is underway, and all Excel needs to do is observe, study, and work on this Maiden, or die trying!"

She then smiled, "Good thing, too. If I died now, this story resets itself."

"Well, time to turn it on!" She cheered.

She stopped and had a recurring flashback.

_Ropponmatsu 2 smiled, "Hello, big sister!"_

"_What's with the sister act?"_

_Sumiyoshi appeared and said: It must be imprinting._

_Excel viewed the star and shrieked. Ropponmatsu 2 gave her a huge hug, breaking her spine._

"_I'm gonna die…" she moaned, and died._

"Why is it coming back to me?" She thought, "Excel thought she was rid of her… but… but why now?"

She pulled the Maiden out and carried her to her apartment. Menchi watched on and was shocked.

"Ah, well," she gasped, "It's behind me now. Excel is gonna spoil this Maiden for Hire _rotten… _the ACROSS way!"

She then looked around her body and tried to find the ON button. She looked around her body, even from inside her clothing (_don't ask_), but no go.

"WHERE'S THE ON BUTTON ON THIS PIECE OF CRAP?" She shouted.

However, she then tried to call the company, but found the button, from her view, on the back of her neck. Excel gasped and said, "At this rate, Excel was about to give up all hope…"

_Pfft… Beginners…_

She approached her and tried to press the button. Menchi plugged her in, as Excel pressed the button.

Nothing.

"Uh, what just happened?" Excel asked.

Suddenly, the Maiden opened her LED red eyes and stood in attention. She turned to Excel and bowed.

"AHH! Excel is rather confused!" She whined, "She has the Maiden that _does _look like Hatchan!"

She bowed and said, "Hello, Miss Excel. I am your Maiden for Hire, Model #PU-241N. My name is Hyatt. I am here for your-."

"WHOA!" She gasped, "And she _even _sounds like Hatchan…"

Hyatt Maiden bowed and said, "Miss Excel, let me finish."

She then said, "I am here for your guaranteed service, as a gift from Mr. Palazzo."

Excel cried, "Lord Il Palazzo, are you trying to trick me?"

Hyatt Maiden stroked her face and said, "Tell me, Miss Excel Excel, what I shall do for you? I enjoy cooking, cleaning, and anything your heart desires. And as an added bonus, I get an extra mode in me."

"Is this mode, _Pleasure Mode_?"

"No. It is our basic and default mode, which can be enabled and disabled, for either safety from users, or if underage. You, Miss Excel, shall enjoy it."

"What is it, as if Excel dare ask…?"

Hyatt then blushed and held up a small microphone and started to sing.

"_Welcome to my service! Welcome to my life! I am your Maiden, and you are my wife! (_Just kidding…_)"_

Excel blushed by Hyatt Maiden's _Karaoke Mode*_.

_*-See "Maiden for Hire: School Rumble Style", if you don't know what Karaoke Mode is._

Excel was moved, "How awesome… Excel would've died in your swoons and be back here, resetting the story."

Great Will said, "Not my problem… But I'll be here, just in case."

Excel snapped, "What is wrong with this crack fanfic?"

_I think she means "QUACK Fanfic"._

* * *

That night, Excel returned to ACROSS and presented the full story:  
_Excel Maiden Log – Day 3:  
Excel is happy that Excel has become a user for Maidens for Hire, or the robo-Hyatt that you gave me, Lord Il Palazzo. To be honest, it's like you have to have a full stomach on one meal, alone. The Maiden made a plate of delicious meat and apple curry, I almost ralphed. But I got full, because… it was stupendous! Keep those foods coming! I'll save up for the rent, as soon as I go to my part-time job!  
More importantly, once the month is up, we'll be able to have the control of Maiden Hyatt. Once we do, ACROSS will rule the world! Excel is happy, even though the Pleasure Mode is-, AHH! Excel has to stop talking! More food! But I cannot! I'm full! SOMEONE! ANYBODY! PULL ME!_

_Day 3 – Signing off…_

Excel left, leaving the report in Il Palazzo's desk.

"Ah, wonderful day," she said, "I wish that I could write what she does, for the cooking, cleaning, singing, and _anything _part. But…"

She then remembered:

_Ropponmatsu 2 was with her, holding a picture of Il Palazzo, "Whoa! Who's that guy?"_

"_HEY, PONGOLA! What-a you think-a you doing, you little punk?"_

"_My name's not __punk__! It's Ropponmatsu!"_

"_I don't care if your name's Rapunzel, Roppongi, or Rope Burn!"_

_She grabbed the picture and cried, "How dare you hold my secret picture of Lord Il Palazzo?"_

"_Ooh," Ropponmatsu 2 smiled, "Is he your lover? He's so awesome. You're lucky."_

"_You think so?" Excel smiled._

"_In that case, why aren't __you__ in the picture, Miss Excel?" Ropponmatsu 1 retorted._

_**BONK!**_

"_I'm gonna hit you!" Excel shrieked, hitting Ropponmatsu 2._

"_Don't say it __after__ you hurt me!" She cried, feeling her head._

Excel stopped and cringed, scratching her head. She then thought, "Oh… kay… This is nuts. Surely, my past isn't coming back. The Hyatt Robot is gentle; plus, a great singer."

She left, as a Puchuu growled, "Don't call me Shirley!"

* * *

_**Chapter 1  
Today's Assignment… Tettering…**_

* * *

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

* * *

The Hyatt robot, in its fifth day, started to massage Excel, while she was without a shirt. Hyatt Maiden still had her uniform on, while Excel was topless.

_Thought I'd correct you._

The Maiden hummed, "_Excel… So soft… Excel… You're smooth… Excel… You're cute… Your body is to boot…"_

"I have no idea what she said, but Excel loves every word she sung from her Vocaloid voicebox…" Excel moaned, feeling relaxed.

She thought, as she narrated, "Excel will remember… The Maiden of Hyatt is very delicate. Her fingertips rub over Excel's body, making every skin vessel soft and her blood circulating. Oh, how wonderful she is… Excel wants one, just like her… Oh, wait… Anyway, It happened on Day 4… I showed her the ropes."

* * *

_**Hyatt Robot Girl's first week – By: Excel Excel**_

_Excel showed her the house, after one of her many big breakfasts._

"_So, this may be small, but in due time, this wonderful housing can work as a Maiden's dream," she said, "Excel would've paid rent, but has NO part-time job, as of late. Luckily, Lord Il Palazzo, your creator, has offered to pay for 2,500 Yen a month, for some reason. (Also, I just realized that you're a custom model, so it's more than two thou)."_

_Hyatt Maiden bowed and said, "In that case, will there be anything else for you to me to do?"_

_Excel held up Menchi and said, "THIS is Menchi. She's our ACROSS Emergency Food Supply!"_

_Menchi yelped in horror._

_She continued, "But due to the recent CARE packages I get from Lord Il Palazzo, her services as an emergency ration has been temporary revoked."_

_Her dog convulsed in despair._

"_Will she be okay?" Hyatt Maiden asked._

"_Oh, she gets that a lot," she winked, "Make sure she gets full, every day, likewise Excel."_

_Hyatt then blushed and said, "Oh, Excel… my master… You have such ways."_

_Excel then bellowed, "And THAT concludes our tour of "Casa de Excel 'n Hyatt"!"_

_She pouted, "Technically, that's it. It's so small."_

_Hyatt then sang, with a spotlight on her:_

_(Hyatt Maiden): Oh, Excel, be reasonable…  
The room is such too tight…  
(Excel): _WAH! She's singing again!  
_(Hyatt Maiden): It's run-down, full of roaches  
and a very dim light_

_Look at you, look at me  
It's everything we've seen  
That is, of course, my service  
to cook and to clean…_

_She bowed and landed on her knees, as applause was made, from out of nowhere._

_Excel was stunned, "Excel is simply not into her moments."_

_**The End**_

* * *

Excel then got up, putting on her shirt. Hyatt Maiden said, "Perhaps maybe you needed a little relaxation? Your PU-241N shall treat you with proper care."

Excel said, "Well, no… I have a part-time job to go to. Maybe I can shake it off, before my sudden arousal towards you. Sadly, I have none, since it would turn into a girl-on-girl event."

Hyatt Maiden giggled, "I'm optional. If you'd like-."

Excel got and ran off, in fear. The Maiden was confused.

"Poor pitiful Excel," she sighed, "I'm so lonely…"

A spotlight was on her, as she held her broom. Slow music was about to play.

_(Hyatt Maiden): Every day… Every night…  
I wanted to make things bright…  
Every minute… Every hour…  
I want to show my power…_

But I can't!

_Excel leaves me… for work  
Nothing is something… to shirk  
My life has been swell, since I started my motions  
and my circuits hurt a bit… for such devotions_

Hyatt began to sweep, as she continued:  
_Every minute… Every hour…  
I want to know my power  
Day and night… Snow and rain…  
I get hurt, again and again_

_Oh, why?  
Why does she treat me so nice?_

_Oh, why?  
Does she turn on me, like mice?_

_I guess there's no way to show it  
I don't to go and blow it  
Would my heart stay strong, before my circuits fall?_

_If she has something say it  
She's my master, and I want to play it  
If you'd only answer my questions, at all_

_Then I guess… I can wait…  
For… it is fate…_

She continued sweeping, as Watanabe was worried, on the other side.

He growled, "She's obviously in a play. Miss Ayasugi was singing!"

_Pathetic… _Sumiyoshi said.

"Must be her functions," Iwata smirked, "Maidens sing, if it's a gift."

Watanabe shouted, "NO, IT'S NOT! It's her!"

_You're confused…_

"Am I? I'll head over, right now, and see!"

He stormed off, growling, "Stupid Iwata… Miss Ayasugi is _not _a robot! I should know."

He knocked on the door and shouted, "Whoever you are? What's with the singing? This isn't a songfic, you know!"

The Maiden opened the door and blushed, "Oh. Sorry, Mister. I was usually cleaning the house for Excel."

He stammered, as he was steadily beating his heart, "OH, uh, no, Miss Ayasugi… I _am _surprised by your appearance."

She thought, "_Ayasugi_?"

Watanabe then requested, "Would you like to sing to me? Uh, not just for requests, but you're a wonderful singing idol. I like your maid uniform, but… Well, it's only that you have a heavenly voice."

The Maiden smiled, "Why thank you, kind sir."

"Uh… You don't remember who I am?"

"What's your name?"

"Uh… Watanabe… I live next door. Don't you remem-?"

"I know so… And don't you worry. Your secret is safe with me. As Excel's-."

She dropped to her knees and groaned, "Sorry… I have to end our chat."

She shut the door, as Watanabe sighed, "I'm surprised that she held her blood, for so long."

He returned to his apartment, sighing, "I knew it was too good to be true. Maybe that other girl will let me meet her Maiden for Hire."

He then fantasized about a Hyatt Maiden. He then giggled, as he went inside, "If she looked like Miss Ayasugi, it could be a very well, very hot model! I want on, but it's so expensive!"

_Stupid…_

"Not to mention that there are _two _gynoids living beneath me," he muttered, as he sat down, "Man, if I had a Miss Ayasugi Model, she'd totally date me."

Iwata giggled, "Oh, how pathetic…"

_You are so lovesick._

Watanabe strangled Iwata and shouted, "YOU BASTARD! How long were you listening in on this?"

"You came home and blurted it out!" Iwata yelled, "For _your _sake, it was _your _fault!"

Watanabe shrieked, "SHUT UP!"

_Dummy._

**XXXXX**

Hyatt Maiden sat down on the floor, plugged in. She needed to recharge. She started to hum and harmonize, as Excel was returning home.

She got up and said, "Hyatt PU-241N… _System rebooting… Now introducing updates to software… PU-241N Updates loading… WRRR! Update downloaded."_

She bent slowly and whirred down. Excel came home, as she saw the robot, turned off. She thought she was broken.

"Oh, teacakes!" She whimpered, "She's broken! It's been five days and I got the money for my rent… but Hyatt Hot Machine has been broken down!"

She hugged her and cried, "Oh, Hyatt Robot Double, or whatever… Excel shall tend to your every whim."

She closed her eyes and embraced everything about her… however…

"_I'm Excel Excel… and this is Hyatt," she said, as her memories returned again._

"_Now that the introductory part is over, tell us who you are!"_

_The Ropponmatsus didn't respond._

"_LOOK! If you don't tell us your names, we'll turn you into Salior Scouts and use you for the next episode!"_

_Hyatt said, "That particular script has already been finished."_

"_Oh."_

"_But I have the packing slips."_

_She remembered her names._

"_YAY! I HAVE FOUND THE IDENTITY OF YOUR NAMES! Names! Names! Names! Names…"_

_She coughed, "Is that echo good enough?"_

_Ropponmatsu 2 cheered, "YAY! I am Ropponmatsu! Introduction assured!"_

_Excel groaned, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo, this whole day, your Excel is suffering, is going downhill."_

Excel removed her head from her breasts and said, "Whoa… Synthetic Maiden Boobs make good pillows… but with BAD memories."

She shuddered, as Hyatt Maiden awoke.

"Ah… I am all better. Oh, Master! You came home?" she gasped.

Excel cringed, "Oh, Hyatt… Don't do that to me again!"

She cried on her chest, as Excel sobbed, "Excel thought you were gone! Poor robot girl! Excel misses you so much! My only wish is for you to not be so damn broken! Excel loved your cooking and cleaning, getting rid of those cockroaches and making my stomach a-fluttering! I'm so sorry!"

She wailed and cried, as Hyatt comforted her. She hummed a song to her, as Excel kept crying.

"I've been here for five days. I'll be fine…"

They looked at each other, as Excel was wiped from her tears, by her Maiden. They blushed and went closer. They started to kiss, when…

"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN!" Watanabe shouted, "What is with the crying?"

Excel snapped, "SHUT UP! You've ruined a great moment with me and my-!"

He yelled, "I got every right to! How dare you cry and blubber, every single day? Start acting like some kind of normal woman, rather than a psycho."

Hyatt restrained her and scolded, "No, Miss Excel. No violence."

Excel calmed down and said, "Let me and my Maiden have a moment's peace, please!"

Watanabe sighed, "Do whatever you want. Just don't get Miss Ayasugi involved in your _Pleasure Mode_."

The Maiden cried, "I'm doing the best I can!"

She sobbed, as she held Excel. She patted her back and said, "Boy… Excel thinks you are so weepy."

Hyatt Maiden sniffled, "I know… I am like my brothers and sisters. I tend to be emotional and sad… on occasions. But that was when… when I…"

They went closer again, and were about to kiss. But Excel shoved away and said, "No."

She said, "Whenever I decide to, I'll think about having your _Pleasure Mode… _for now. But for now, Excel wants your homemade cooking! Howbout some of that delicious-?"

The Maiden cheered, "I'll surprise you! Anything for you, my master!"

Excel floated downward and relaxed, "Ah… What a wonderful Maiden."

She blushed and looked at the Maiden, cooking for her.

"Still… in a home, marked as _"People's Unhappiness"_, Excel feels like that this Maiden wanted a pass at me. I mean, there's no kitchen, no bedroom, and even no luxuries. I feel very uneasy…"

She then said, "I wonder if she sings well… which will make me lose my dark past about… _them._"

She fell asleep, as Hyatt Maiden looked on. She blushed, "Oh, Excel… Everything will be in your likings. I'll wake you when it's ready."

She continued working, as Excel slept on.

* * *

It has been weeks, since Excel owned the cute Maiden, Hyatt. Her entire report showed that Hyatt the Robot Maiden was with Excel, including pampering her, cuddling her, and even cooking for her. They were all presented to Lord Il Palazzo. Excel grew friendly towards the robot, without Watanabe knowing… or for that matter, Watanabe doesn't know yet. Who'd guess that the two Hyatts looked well-alike?

Anyway, around the end of the second month, the Hyatt Maiden blushed, as she wrapped Excel in her arms and said, "I love working with you. You're always on your rent… but you never have time for me…"

Excel sighed, "I know. Excel is used to domestic distributes, but _never _sexual fantasies."

Hyatt Maiden blushed, "Aw, Master… Perhaps maybe I need to know why you won't cuddle with me…"

Excel then remembered:

_Ropponmatsu 2 cried, "Big sister!"_

"_AH! Is this what being plucked from a single white is like?"_

Excel growled, "Damn it… Excel loves you… but she… cannot… shake… her past off…"

Hyatt patted her head, brushing her blonde hair, and whispered, "Is there something you want me to share?"

Excel said, as she looked at her face, "Hatchan Robot… I'm…"

The robot kissed her, as Excel was blushing in a beet red look.

"Holy teacakes…" she thought, "She's… She's kissing me."

Hyatt whispered, as she continued, "Oh, Master Excel… I love you. I want you, so badly."

She said, "I may sing about it, one day, _if _you tell me what's wrong."

They continued to lip-lock, as Excel was in tears, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo… What am I doing?"

She blushed and continued kissing, holding her hip tight. They continued to make out, as Hyatt started to freeze in place.

"_Battery low… Must recharge… Batter-r-r-r-r…"_

She wound down and died. Excel kept kissing her, without noticing. She eventually plugged her in, after the kiss.

"Holy crap," she waved a fan over her, "Whoa… That was so hot and spicy. My only wish is that Lord Il Palazzo would apologize to me."

She groaned, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo, I'm so sorry. Excel has betrayed you."

She then hugged her lifeless body and said, "Hyatt Robot… I promise… I'll stay by your side… forever…"

She kissed her on her lips, as she then giggled in an evil grin:  
_"It's time for me to reprogram her for ACROSS's fun… It may ruin our love for each other, but it's time."_

She knew what she had to do. Excel must _hack _into her circuits.

* * *

_**To be continued…**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

* * *

I mean for two months, and counting… Excel Excel had many a memory of the Ropponmatsu 2 that ruined her. However, the Maiden, which resembles Hyatt, became a part of Excel's life. After two months of the best nights of her life… Excel and Hyatt Robot stayed true to each other, while she stayed loyal to ACROSS. By the time it was mission time…

"Hail, Il Palazzo!" She cheered.

"…zzo." Hyatt spoke.

"Well, Agent Excel, how did your two months of keeping your Maiden for Hire went?" Il Palazzo requested.

"Well, it's like this…" She paused, and blushed at her boss, crying, "She's the best! In fact… may I borrow a toolkit for her? I plan to reprogram her!"

"Elaborate…"

"Excel figures that we may use this Maiden for Hire, only for personal gain. We may use the robot, with its charm and control, and we can use it for singing!"

Il Palazzo replied, "No need. We'll use her, for something useful. Make sure that the robot is prepared. However, THERE WILL BE **NO **REPROGRAMMING… of _any _kind. The Maiden obeys you, so it's very useful to use her, just for our conquest of the world."

Excel then giggled, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo. Of course… What if there's _any _romance love… of a Maiden and Excel?"

Il Palazzo growled, as Hyatt asked, "Senior? Why is that?"

Excel panicked, in a worried state, "Oh, nuts… And I just became romantically attracted by Hyatt-Bot!"

We knew what would happen. However, Il Palazzo smiled and said, "I know the reason why, but I know you. After all, you love me, is that correct?"

Hyatt whispered, "It's pretty obvious."

Excel grinned, "Oh, I am still loyal to you, out of my love, but Excel refuses to go Yuri on this fembot faker! She'll stay loyal to you, so much! HAIL, IL PALAZZO!"

Hyatt smiled, "Oh, Senior. Maybe I should meet your Maiden in per-."

He pulled the cord, as Excel plummeted down below.

"WHY THE SUDDEN FINISH-UP?"

**SPLASH!**

"You will brief everything about today's mission, once she has come up." He said.

Hyatt inquired, "And that would be…"

Il Palazzo boomed, "Agent Excel will undergo Psychiatric Care, once her use with the Maiden is finished. I just remembered a mission that _did _involve her being… well, thoroughly losing her womanhood. Maybe we can cure her of her sudden shock, as of the previous chapter."

He continued, as he stood up from his throne, "Agent Hyatt, promise me that you can help fix her problems… even though she caused _far too many_."

"Sir!"

"And furthermore… _NO going near that Maiden for Hire, under ALL circumstances._ If you go near her…"

"I won't… Hyatt knows that it's of me."

Il Palazzo chuckled, "How'd you guess?"

Hyatt was worried, "I have a _wild _feeling…"

* * *

It continued on, as the days continued. Excel was blushing, as she crawled towards the robot and blushed.

"I can't stand it…" she whispered, "I cannot take my emotions. I want you so badly. In fact, Excel wants you… more than anything she feels… Oh, Lord Il Palazzo… forgive me…"

The Maiden stripped down to her bra and panties and said, "If you want me… Say the word. I shall help you out, anyway, shape, or form."

She removed her bra, as her long blue hair flowed over her chest. Excel was in full-on romance, as she hugged Hyatt Maiden. After that, they kissed, held each other tight, and made out on the floor.

But then…

"_Face destroyed! Upper right arm, incapacitated! Right side area – don't even ask! Sudden destruction of abdominal region! Contortion developed – body out of commission! WAH! AH! __**AAAAAAHH!**__"_

Excel cried, as she shoved her aside, "Excel…"

She yelled, "I CAN'T DO IT! I don't care if she's naked and/or a sexy robot, I cannot do it! NO!"

She ran out of the house, screaming, while wearing a robe. The Hyatt robot called to her, but she was already gone.

"Master! WAIT! Why are you avoiding me?"

She sobbed, "I… I was so close…"

At the park, Excel was crying in tears, as she held onto her toolkit, in which she stole from ACROSS HQ.

"I'm so sorry… Hatchan-Botchan!" She sobbed, "Excel has to do it… just so we could conquer the world. It disobeys Lord Il Palazzo, but if she breaks down, there's those FREE repairs, right?"

_But don't forget: repairs are FREE, but replacement parts cost extra_

She yelled, "I don't need my boss telling me what to do! I love Hyatt the Maiden! I don't care! Excel is not letting some robot-android-gynoid-cyborg-cylon-Scion-cycle get to me!"

"_Big sister is so mean!"  
__**BOOM!**_

_Excel screamed, "MENCHI! And also, ROPPONMATSU!"_

She shrieked, "NO! DAMN YOU, ROPPONMATSU! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME, WHILE I AM FINALLY HAVING A ROBOT FOR SEX?"

She yelled, "Is this the thanks I get, you little punk? You came to my life, you ruined my fun, you even became a criminal… and worst of all…"

She let it out:  
_**"YOU RAPED ME!"**_

"Excel is completely in out of her words. I _truly _loved my Lord Il Palazzo… but Excel has a newer romance. Please, Lord Il Palazzo… fix me. Excel needs to be fixed… FREE repairs… I want to…"

She then started to beep, out of complete insanity. She spoke robotically, "Hello… I am Excel XL5 – Maiden for Hire. How may I serve you?"

She went to normal and said, "Oh, no reason, Miss Maiden. Can you please help me with my Hyatt Maiden?"

She then spoke in a robot voice, "At once, your most gracious Excel."

After going through romance and love for a robot, all while escaping her tantalizing past with Ropponmatsu 2, she went off to the brink of irrationality. Excel is not a robot; she's just broken in the head.

Excel beeped, as she went home, walking like a robot.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I am XL5! Hail… my creator!"

Then normal…  
"I need to see Hyatt and apologize to her."

…and back…  
"BEEP! BOOP! BEEP! I am her, here for your guaranteed service."

…and it went on…  
"Excel better hurry, before she leaves me."

"Excel Model… go see Hyatt Model…"

"Excel is so bad, running out of her, like that."

"BEEP! Must go to _Pleasure Mode_…"

Hyatt found her and cried, "SENIOR!"

She grasped onto her and shouted, "Lord Il Palazzo was worried about you. I want you to see him."

Excel beeped, "Il Palazzo… zzo… zzo… zzo… zozozozozozozo…"

She started to spark and shake, whirring a bit.

_Relax. It's normal for Excel… if you __call__ it "normal". I call it Smithy. LOL_

She reverted to normal and blushed, "Hyatt… You came ba-, oh, wait… My bad, Hatchan."

She went on, as Hyatt was scared.

"Hatchan… my user. Fix me."

"Hatchan, I think Excel was gyp…"

"Gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp… Il Pala-a-a-a-a-a…"

**SLAP!**

Hyatt slapped her and shouted, "STOP IT! YOU'RE SCARING ME!"

Excel blushed and started to cry. She sobbed, "Excel doesn't know… Why is she cursed by a horrible past?"

She wailed, "WAH! Excel needs help! Fix me, for I am a Maiden for Excel… GAH! Not again! HELP ME!"

**SLAP!**

"Snap out of it, Senior!" Hyatt pleaded, "Ever since she came to you, you have gotten worse off!"

She coughed blood, as Excel snapped, "Why me? Why am I cursed to be dating a robot, since that punk raped me? Excel is losing her womanhood, her feminine capacity, her happiness, _and _little pea-sized mind!"

She whispered, "Hatchan… What is wrong with me?"

**XXXXX**

Excel was on a couch, speaking to Lord Il Palazzo, who was conducting her mind. Also, there was no one to consult to the hyperactive ACROSS member.

"Now, Agent Excel… Can you remember how it all happened?" He said, as he was writing on a clipboard.

Excel explained, in a normal manner, "Well… It happened about years ago… After you gave us a praise of our missions, involving a bomb and a panda, we…"

She then went on about how they got the Ropponmatsus, from back in _Episode 16_. She also mentioned that they were criminals, stealing money and food, while having lunch in the park. By the time she got to being surrounded by the police, Ropponmatsu 2 suddenly did it to her.

Excel sobbed, "It was horrible. Excel lost her womanhood to a mechanical fembot! Of course, Excel didn't know, until…"

"_Shut up, you fascist puppet of the state!" Ropponmatsu 2 shouted._

"_Don't agitate them…"Excel groaned._

"_Okay!" She cheered._

_**BANG!**_

_She was shot in the head with a sniper bullet. She fell dead, but got up._

"_OW! That hurt!" Ropponmatsu 2 whined, rubbing her head._

"_AAH! WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?"_

"And when I examined her…"

_She examined her head, showing chrome and lights._

"_HOLY TEACAKES! YOU'RE A ROBOT!" She screeched._

_Ropponmatsu 2 said, "Yeah. Haven't you figured it out? How else can we shoot laser and missiles?"_

"_Come to think of it, you're right."_

Excel continued, "After the first one that swooned over Hatchan shorted out, the second robot rushed over to stop a huge weapon. When I screamed to her, since she got Menchi… it broke her heart."

"_ROPPONMATSU!"_

_Ropponmatsu 2 said, "Big sister Excel… You said my name. That's the first time… you said…"_

"_Ropponmatsu! Give back my Emergency food supply!"_

_**CRACK!**_

_Those words broke Ropponmatsu 2's heart._

"_I can't believe those were the last words I'll ever hear! Big sister is SO MEAN!"_

_**BOOM!**_

"_Menchi! And also Ropponmatsu!"_

"And like that… she was gone…" Excel sniffled, "That image still burned into Excel's mind, like it was recorded on TiVo. Excel tried to forget… I lost my mind, because of it. I never chose to be a lover in a _Yuri/Shoujo-Ai _routine… All I wanted was to make you happy that we'd complete our mission."

"When was that?" Il Palazzo explained.

Excel sobbed, "I don't know! Excel doesn't remember when, which is why I wanted to forget! But when you mention that damn Maiden for Hire, Excel didn't want it! But I couldn't DIZ-OH-BAY-YA-ORE-DARS!"

"_Disobey your orders"_

She pounded her fist on the pillow, "WHY? Why must life be so cruel? Excel is cursed!"

"You're not cursed. That was considered your _First Time… in a bad way._"

"Huh?"

"Agent Excel, I know that it was long ago, but you needn't worry your pretty little face. What happened was so tainted… that I, too, couldn't try to remember. This, of course, led you to the brink of insanity, following you sex escapades with the Maiden for Hire. I'm surprised that you lasted over two months with her that it's partially my fault."

Excel pleaded, "NO! NO! NO! NO! Excel doesn't blame you! NOT AT ALL! It's just so…"

She cried and wept, as she sat up from her couch, "Lord Il Palazzo… Thank you…"

She threw down her cyan jacket and sobbed, "I mean it… Excel still loves you."

She turned away and sobbed, "Goodbye!"

She ran off, with tears in her eyes, running out of the HQ. It seems that Excel may have resigned from ACROSS. Il Palazzo watched on and smiled. He got up and held up Excel's jacket. He then grinned evilly and spoke of Excel.

"She'll be back. She _always _does."

* * *

_**Maiden Experiment  
Today's Mission… … …Failed!**_

* * *

_**But the story's not yet over…**_

* * *

Back at Excel's home, she toolkit, with a book _"Maidens for Hire FOR DUMMIES"_, and approached the deactivated Hyatt Robot. She then sobbed and said "Hyatt Robot… I'm going to make you mine… One day…"

She opened her back head panel and read the book, carefully.

"_To examine his/her brain pattern, plug in USB port to computer or monitor, with a USB support…_"

By the way, she borrowed some computer stuff from downstairs. Plus, Iwata, Watanabe, and Sumiyoshi had some leftover stuff to lend her.

Watanabe was pissed, as he knew about the robot, "GOD! I cannot believe she was a robot! Why didn't I see that coming?"

_Saw__ that… _Sumiyoshi said.

Iwata laughed, as Watanabe was angry. He then said, "Oh, come now! That ridiculous Maiden? She looked _exactly _like your _girlfriend_."

"So, the Maiden _did _look like Miss Ayasugi. And that girl next door wanted to reprogram her!"

_Coincidental, much?_

"Easy for you to say," he snuffed, "At least we owe her, after I wanted to try her out."

_And?_

Iwata sighed, "It's _her _Maiden. She would've let you ask."

Watanabe pouted, "I did…"

_And then what?_

"She said no."

He was in his own disdain, all sad and gloomy.

_Bummer… _Sumiyoshi said.

Iwata smiled, "One day, I'm going to own, if I get the money, a Matsuya Maiden, complete with a Butler of you, pal."

Watanabe sobbed, "Do whatever you want; just treat them with care… moron."

Matsuya, from the office, then said, "I have no idea, but remind me to kill Iwata, the next time I see him at work."

**XXXXX**

Excel started to type in some stuff into Hyatt Maiden, as she viewed her files.

"Wow… She must be very intelligent. But according to the _Maidens for Hire Hotline_, they can be altered a bit, just as long as their Basic Programming is still intact. Excel _finally_ understands computers… namely the human shaped sex dolls."

She finished, as she disconnects the cords from the monitors and keyboards. She then reactivated her and held her tight.

"Master… Excel…" the robot whispered.

"I'm so sorry…" Excel said, "No matter what… I'm staying with you. I hope you're not mad."

"Mad?" Hyatt Maiden said, "You altered my programming… but you made sure I was a Maiden…"

She sang:  
_(Hyatt Maiden): I thank you…  
I thank you…  
from the bottom of my heart…_

_Thank you…  
Oh, thank you…  
And now we'll never be apart…_

_Master Excel, you know me too well  
From west to east, I'll NEVER tell  
When we make out, it's so wrong  
but I confess, as I sing my song_

_Thank you… Oh, thank you…  
La, la-la, la-la…_

She kissed her and said, "I love you, Excel Excel…"

"I love you, too, Hyatt Robot…" Excel smiled.

"Call me Hyatt," she said.

"Hyatt…"

"Excel…"

"Oh, Hyatt…"

"Oh, Excel…"

"Ah! Hyatt…"

"Oh, Excel… Excel…"

* * *

_**ALRIGHT! That's enough! AUGH! How long before they continue on?**_

* * *

_**Find out in the conclusion…**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

* * *

After reprogramming her Maiden for Hire, everything was peaceful for Excel. It was day after day of kissing, fondling, and all sorts. Excel was rather happy of her Maiden. The Maiden served Excel a huge plate of stroganoff. She ate it up, fast and messy, as the Maiden cleaned her up.

"Oh, Hyatt… That was so delicious…"

Hyatt giggled, "Thank you. My cooking has improved, always."

She then spoke, "I love to cook for you, since you never get a huge meal, in the past."

It was one remark about Excel's past.

Excel was cured of her sudden shocks. However, she stayed loyal to Hyatt, her Maiden for Hire.

"One question… How come _you _never eat? Are you like anorexic or somewhat of a vegan?"

Hyatt Maiden responded, "No… I'm actually not supposed to eat anything. The only food Maidens and Butlers eat is electricity."

Excel then smiled, "Oh, well. At least you don't bleed from your mouth."

"If we do, we'd have red oil in us. Maybe Miss West and the other employees would make us _even more _realistic."

Excel smirked in annoyance, "Ew… Excel was curious, but I guess not."

Hyatt Maiden smiled, "But we _do _simulate saliva. That makes _Pleasure Mode _more real."

Excel then held her tight, as Hyatt giggled, "Ah… You're so cute."

**XXXXX**

Excel called for Hyatt Maiden.

"Can you be helped?" She bowed.

Excel smiled, "Clean up time! My room is a mess!"

Hyatt was pumped up and cheered, "Leave it to me!"

She ran around the apartment, cleaning in a breakneck speed. It lasted 20 seconds, since the apartment was very small.

"Holy teacakes!" Excel cried, "That was so awesome!"

"If anything, you come calling for me," she bowed, "I'll be here for your heart's desire."

Excel blushed.

**XXXXX**

Hyatt Maiden removed her uniform and put it in the washing machine. She posed sultry, in front of Excel, as she sat down.

"My uniform is one-of-a-kind," she said, "It _is _time to wash it, anyway. Your clothes are next."

She wiggled her hip and blushed, "Oh, Master Excel… I love working for you… It'll be three months since we are together."

Excel stripped down into nothing, as she dropped her clothes in her basket. She then held Hyatt Maiden and blushed, "Excel needs you to wash more… We _are _being romantically involved, aren't we?"

Hyatt Maiden removed her bra and threw it in the laundry. She then whispered, "Excel…"

They kissed again, as they made out on the floor.

Sumiyoshi peeked inside and said:  
_Get a room…_

**XXXXX**

But back at ACROSS, Hyatt heard the bad news…

"She what?" Hyatt cried, "Senior Excel quit?"

Il Palazzo, "I'm sorry that it was sudden, Agent Hyatt. But after her psychiatric routine, Agent Excel is taking a leave of absence."

Hyatt sobbed, "She… She cannot leave me! I mean, without Excel…"

"Yes, I know… Without Excel, there's no comedic touch to ACROSS. So, I have decided that for the time-."

"It's her fault!"

"Come again?"

She growled in a serious tone, "This is all _your _fault, Lord Il Palazzo! If we'd only helped her, _before _the Maiden for Hire came to her life!"

She yelled, "Lord Il Palazzo, how could you?"

Il Palazzo was worried, as he contemplated over Excel. He then thought of everything that happened to Excel. He then groaned, "Excel…"

* * *

_**Il Palazzo's sad time with Excel – By: Excel**_

_(Il Palazzo): Oh, Excel… I am so sorry that everything happened to you._

_(Excel): Excel is done. I QUIT!_

_(Excel runs off)_

_(Excel): Goodbye, Lord Il Palazzo! Your Excel is heartbroken._

_(Il Palazzo): Oh, Agent Excel… Your heart has been flowing towards me, but you belong to another._

_(Excel): End of relationship!_

_**Bad End**_

* * *

Il Palazzo held the rope and said, "Hyatt… Do _you _enjoy the trap door?"

"Well…"

He tried to pull it, but was hesitant. He then growled, "I cannot do it! Everything that I did has turned to crap! If you fall into the water, Agent Hyatt, then it wouldn't be the same."

Hyatt bowed and was sad, "I am afraid that we've lost Senior Excel… to a slut-bot!"

Il Palazzo shouted, "NO! We have not! Excel will one day evade from her porcelain-skinned, mechanical girl. She will return, eventually. After that, I shall discontinue the services, right away."

Hyatt sobbed, "Senior Excel… Please come home…"

* * *

But one week passed, and Excel and her lover, the Maiden in question, kept on going. However, she _will _learn that fixing a Maiden can be tough… but disastrous.

And their relationship went from awesome… to plain worse. You'll see why.

Excel then carried Hyatt Maiden into the room, as she laid the futon out. She then blushed, "Miss Maiden lover… Excel Excel wants your hot body again."

"Of course you do," Hyatt Maiden smiled, "Allow me to do the honors."

As she removed her dress, it happened. She buzzed and sparked a bit. She then glow her LED eyes to an infrared and stared at Excel.

"Excel… My master… Excel Excel…" she spoke robotically.

She removed her dress and stood in place. She then buzzed, while letting out a sharp glow in her eyes.

"Master Excel…"

"Huh? What gives?"

She smiled, "I want to honor you, so much, and give you guaranteed service, as long as you say."

She then scowled evilly, as she spoke in a distorted voice, "DESTROY!"

"AHH!" Excel screamed, as she stepped back in fear.

Her Maiden began to malfunction. She went berserk, after a little fiddling with her circuits.

"Hyatt! It's me! Excel's Excel!"

"TARGET DESTROY! DESTROY! MUST DESTROY!"

She ran off, running away from the Maiden. She ran out of the house, and into the streets, running from the Maiden, who was completely violent. She destroyed cars and street lights, in her path, all while chasing Excel.

"You cannot run from me," she beeped, "I will make you love me. DESTROY!"

"WHAT DID EXCEL DO?" She screamed, "WHY WON'T YOU REMEMBER ME? I CANNOT RUN FROM YOU!"

Hyatt yelled, "WAIT! EXCEL! MUST DESTROY EXCEL! MUST DESTROY!"

She tripped and fell to the street's pavement, as she had a nosebleed. She winced, "Excel is being chased by a Terminator-like Maiden!"

The Maiden approached her and buzzed, "Now… DESTROY! I will be your lover… WHEN YOU DIE!"

She clamped her neck and shouted, "EXCEL! Must destroy you!"

Excel gagged, "NO! Excel's Excel! You got it all wrong!"

Hyatt then clasped her neck, about to break it. She was leaking tears, as Hyatt said that she is being used by Excel. She was about to kill her, since her Laws of Robotics were tampered.

Excel couldn't take it anymore. She sobbed and wept, as Hyatt stopped.

"Hyatt… I love you…"

Hyatt let go, after those words. She then buzzed and shook.

"_Error… System malfunction… Cannot kill… DO NOT disobey prime directives…"_

Excel hugged her and said, "No… I love you so much…"

Hyatt shook, "I love you, too… I don't know what came over me…"

They started to kiss, as Hyatt arrived, in tears, to see them kissing. She ran off, as Excel watched on, while kissing her.

"Hatchan…" she thought.

**XXXXX**

The following evening… Excel then thought about Hyatt. She then said, "Hatchan was there… Why did she come here, crying for me? Is she worried about Excel's lifestyle?"

She then moaned, "Poor Hatchan… Excel must've felt bad about abandoning her. But that's what ACROSS agents do, to let someone do a mission."

She then said, "But, at the very least… _NO _more nightmares."

She blushed, as she approached her Maiden, turned off and recharging. She held her left breast and said, "You're so huggable and soft. Excel wants you… forever… and ever…"

The phone rang. She answered it and said hello. It was Hyatt.

"Lord Il Palazzo… He wants you to come back… It's not the same… anymore…" Hyatt said, "He's about to end your Maiden's services."

Excel was shocked, but was happy. She responded, "Cool, Hatchan… I felt bad about you. I'm sorry you saw what occurred… between myself and my Maiden."

Hyatt whimpered, and then coughed. She hung up, as Excel smiled. "Oh, well… My escapades with Hyatt Maiden are now over. And now, I can live peacefully…"

She winked at the robot and said, "Sleep well, my darling Maiden… and thank you."

Of course, it got from worse… to terrible!

"WHAT?" Il Palazzo shouted on the phone, as he called the _Maidens for Hire Company _in Kyoto, "I am NOT allowed to end the services for Excel?"

Heiji Shaitori remarked, via phone, "I'm sorry. Since you gave her Model #PU-241N, it's _her _jurisdiction to end the services. Although, when we repaired her, I was shocked that she reprogrammed her for many deeds. Of course, it _was _acceptable, as long as the user keeps the _Maiden Program _in her files."

Il Palazzo shouted, "NO FAIR! YOU AND YOUR SERVICES, AND ITS LOOPHOLES!"

He slammed the phone shut and shouted, "DAMN! DANG! DARN! I'm loyally screwed! Agent Excel is gone from ACROSS! Which means… Her cheerful expression will be gone, too. I lost you, Excel… I know you shall return… one day…"

He held up her blue jacket and whispered, "This… This is all that's left of Excel. In the event she is gone, Excel will be in my memories."

He hugged it, knowing that Excel was gone… but for a while longer. He reverted to normal and let out a smile.

"Agent Hyatt, let's move on," he said, "About your mission…"

**XXXXX**

But he spoke too soon… Excel then called to Menchi and said, "Girl. I'm afraid it's time."

Menchi pleaded to her, not to, but Excel made up her mind.

"Excel cannot do this, anymore…" she said, "I'm sorry, Menchi… but I guess that's it for your sabbatical as my _Emergency Food Supply_."

Menchi shrieked and fainted in fright. The Maiden bowed and said, "Do you want to see me?"

Excel sobbed, as she held Hyatt Maiden, "Excel is sorry. I don't want you… no more… I feel so bad…"

She shuddered, "And dirty…"

She then remarked, "Our time we had was magical… and sexual… and hot… but I cannot stay with you. You see, I love Lord Il Palazzo… but I cannot love you, too. Don't get me wrong, but…"

Hyatt Maiden nodded and stopped her from talking, "No… I understand, Miss Excel. I know it was tough, but Il Palazzo means more to you, than me. Anyway, it was nice of you to use me, just for fun."

Excel wept, as she sniffled, "Hyatt… I love you… I love you so… I'll never find someone like you."

Her tears fell to the floor, as she wailed and sobbed. The _real _Hyatt appeared and said, "You have…"

She then sobbed, as well, and ran to Excel, "Senior Excel!"

They hugged, as Excel cried. Hyatt wiped her tears and said, "Oh, there, there. Don't cry anymore. You had such fun with Hyatt Maiden."

Excel blubbered, "Wah! Hatchan! I'm so sorry!"

She cried on her shoulder, as Hyatt sobbed with her.

Hyatt Maiden then sang:  
_(Hyatt Maiden): It's so hard… for a Maiden  
to be free  
It's so hard for a user  
to let it be_

_I cannot stay for long  
You know that it was fun  
But I cannot stay anymore  
for my work here is done_

_My memories! All gone…  
My love for you! Deleted!_

_Don't cry for me, Excel!  
I'll love you, down the wire  
I'm happy for you  
as your Maiden for Hire…_

She bowed and said, "Excel… Thank you for your services with me, as a Maiden for Hire. I must leave you now, for my services are no longer needed. Thank you for choosing Maidens for Hire."

She kissed Excel and said, "Goodbye…"

"Goodbye, Hyatt Maiden… and thank you…"

She left the house, and returned to Kyoto… never to be seen again. Excel waved goodbye, with tears in her eyes, as Menchi was crying in hopelessness; she was stuck with _just _Excel again. Excel wiped her tears and said, "Hatchan… I'm sorry. Excel made a terrible mistake. Please forgive me. Lord Il Palazzo isn't mad, is he?"

"He doesn't know." She winked.

She then coughed blood and died again. Excel then smiled, "Welcome back, Hatchan…" and gave her a hug.

* * *

At ACROSS, Excel returned, without her blue jacket. She then hung her head down and saluted.

"Hail… Il Palazzo…" she said in regret.

"Agent Excel?" He asked, "Why the long face?"

She sobbed, "She's gone. I gave her the boot."

"Huh?"

"My Maiden for Hire, for three months… Excel finished. I set her free…"

She then shouted, with tears in her eyes, "AND IF YOU THINK THAT THIS IS **YOUR **FAULT, LORD IL PALAZZO… **IT'S NOT!**"

She cried, "It's mine… I betrayed your trust… I disobeyed you… I ruined your gift… I'm so sorry… Your Excel hopes that Lord Il Palazzo finds it in your heart to forgive her…"

She whimpered, as Il Palazzo held up her cyan jacket and said to her.

"Agent Excel… … …CATCH!"

He threw the jacket at her. She caught it and put it back on. She then smiled, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo! I'm so happy! Please… Never buy me another Maiden/Butler for Hire again!"

He smirked, "I promise…"

However, he had his fingers crossed. He thought, "Well, we cannot have them control the world, but it'll be a kick to have five beautiful Excel Maidens in my side, while the _real _Excel gets in missions."

Excel then said, "So… Now that everything is back to normal… There's only one thing left to do."

She saluted and cheered to Il Palazzo, signaling the end of this story.

"HAIL IL PALAZZO!"

Hyatt smiled and said, "…zzo."

Il Palazzo smiled smugly and thought, "It is bliss…"

"Oh, wait… I forgot…"

He pulled the cord, and Excel fell into the pit.

"WAH! SO SOON?"

**SPLASH!**

He sighed, "_Now… _it's bliss."

* * *

_**And he never bought a Maiden for Hire again… in front of Excel, Hyatt, or anybody else, at least…**_

* * *

At Il Palazzo's room, he was being pampered and caressed by the five Excel Robots, in different colored uniforms. They wore a red, green, black, yellow, and white uniform each, all with Excel's exact looks.

Red Excel cheered, "Will there be anything else, Lord Il Palazzo?"

He sighed, "No, I'm fine. You may continue, Excel 3."

Red Excel said, "YOU GOT IT!"

He said, "Excel 4, rub my feet, please. Excel 2, I shall have my lunch now. Excel 5, please change the channel to the news."

The White Excel smiled, holding his feet, "Of course, Lord Il Palazzo."

The Green Excel held the remote up and said, "Would you like Channel 4 or Channel 6?"

The Black Excel giggled, "Your lunch is served, your Lord Il Palazzo."

The Yellow Excel saluted, "Hail, Hot User!"

"Hail to you, too, Excel 1," he smiled.

He then said, "Ah… This is the life…"

* * *

_**And things were back to normal…**_

* * *

Watanabe then saw Iwata returning from the store. He had a huge gash on his face, with a shiner on both eyes.

"What happened to you?" Watanabe asked.

Iwata sobbed, "I ran into Matsuya… and I said hi… and then…"

_No. We don't wanna know. _Sumiyoshi said, halting Iwata.

* * *

_**The End**_

* * *

Excel and Hyatt hugged each other, as Hyatt died again. Excel then smiled, with a tear in her eye.

"Oh, Hyatt Maiden… I miss you so much," she whispered.

She held up Hyatt's corpse and said, "Maybe when you're dead, I can always make out with _you, _and pretend that you are her."

She puckered up and kissed Hyatt, "Hatchan…"

They began to make out… for five seconds. Excel gagged, and then threw up on the floor.

"DAMN IT, HATCHAN! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU OOZE BLOOD FROM YOUR MOUTH AGAIN?" She yelled, feeling nauseated, "Ew… EW… EW! That was disgusting!"

Hyatt woke up and asked, "Oh, Senior… Morning already?"

* * *

_**Thanks for Reading!  
Today's mission… … …Blue  
**__(Blue is another word for "Sad")_


End file.
